The low hum of the artificial sun was a constant presence in the lower levels of Caer Aeternum, but this morning it was overshadowed by the sharper buzz of my father’s anger. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and exited my chamber, the familiar, stale air of our living block already thick with the weight of another argument. My father's forceful gestures made his frame look larger as he spoke to my brother. “It’s really an issue of blood,” I heard him say as I crossed the hallway. “These hybrids don't understand what the universe was like before the Varkh helped them.” I entered the artificially lit kitchen, where my mother was smiling and closing her ears as a shield to the shouting. She didn't notice me until I was ten feet away.

“Did you say your oath?” she asks. I nod and smirk, revealing my lie. “Well you better go do it! Can't start your day without it!” She tries to chase me out of the room with her hands like when I was a kid, making a funny face. 

I run out ahead of her giggling and make it to the shrine for the Varkh Ascendancy. Beginning the oath that I’ve repeated since I could speak. “Order is the shield against chaos; Duty is the blade that defends it.” Just as I have rehearsed it. 

“Now go and sit at the table I’ll bring out the nutrients” She says, leaning down close to me. “And just don't pay attention to their argument.” As I get closer to the table, I realize this isn't an argument. 

They are in complete agreement, my brother begins frantically gesturing as he shovels his nutrient “This is why pure blooded Colonials shouldn't mix with any other species! Umbric and Molari just prove that colonials need the Varkh to maintain purity!” my brother's gestures attempting to mimic my father, I just stare at my father, a smile on his face. Trying to read the intent behind his eyes. But he turned away as I started to look beyond.

“That's absolutely right my boy! Once you put the poison in the well, the whole town dies. Need to stop the poison before it reaches the well.” His eyes glued to his data slate as my mother brings out the paste. Strawberry, the best of the breakfast options, I scoop it with my spoon and shovel it into my mouth as fast as I can, the bland flavor peeks through with its taste of ground paper pulp. I prepared to head out for the day to school, I had planned to walk with Durna who usually arrived around now.

Just then, three knocks on the door as I grab my bag heavy with the curriculum the teachers insist on. Technology According to Praxis, containing all the technological advancements the Varkh Ascendancy, and Biology of the Colonials,explaining the true differences between the different species in the galaxy. Durna stands at the door tapping her foot as if she had been waiting hours for me, I gave her a questioning look and she just laughed as we headed off.

“How was your end-cycle?” I ask her, before answering for myself. “Mine was alright, we went to see a Lineage Re-enactment for Dravenn-kar. Almost fell asleep” I chuckle out.

Durna rolled her eyes and said, “ughh, it was alright, father took us to the Edict Archives, apparently a neighbor questioned fathers commitment to the Varkh and we all needed to learn why the Varkh is perfect… IT-WAS-AH-MAY-ZING” she said robotically and began laughing. 

I joined in, but we quickly saw an older gentleman walk past giving us a serious look, before he quickly said “Varkh Etern” and walked off. We quieted ourselves before responding “Varkh Etern” just as quickly, it was the required response for everyone, loudly proclaiming our hope that the ascendancy would reign forever.

As we walk, we pass by several shopping centers and within each of them, we see Umbric hybrids that are walking around and interacting in society. Some of them with feline features on a colonial frame, others had the elongated ears showing their Elari ancestry. One steps in front of us as we’re walking and Durna makes a sound to verbalize her annoyance. I look closer and see that there are brands underneath their ears, tying them to a noble house. “Do you ever wonder why the Kars have hybrids?” I ask Durna. 

“That’s just the way it is, they know how to prevent their umbric evils from spreading. That’s what father says. The Kars have the ability to prevent evil from spreading.” She says as if it's a reaction she’s built up over years. “We don't question the Kars. That's like questioning the Imperarch.” 

I rolled my eyes, and walked forward, "You know that's not an actual answer,” I muttered. She just ignored me, her attention focused on the different brands that passed by. The Dove over a broken chain for Kar Taranwe, The wolf skull for Kar Dravenn. I clenched my hand but as I did I felt a knot on my tunic that I began to scratch at, it wiggled between each scratch.

We eventually arrived at the school house as Zith came up and blew dust in our faces. We both shouted, laughed, and chased him around the concrete park out in front of the school. We continued to chase him around the park until the bell rang.

The first three classes passed by until I got to history, I pulled out my book. The History of Order: The Varkh Ascendancy, going over how they brought true order to the galaxy after the sundering, where we learned about the Astral Forum and the coalition government, made up mostly of pure colonials and hybrids that represent the outer worlds, which debates the laws. I held my hand and asked what the history of the Umbric hybrids was. 

“They are a stain upon the Ascendancy. They are proof of the impurity of the other species in the galaxy. They are dependent on chaos to survive through any kind of life, and when they invite that chaos into their lives the lives of those around them are affected as well.” Mr. Drekath sat at the edge of his desk confident in his superiority. 

“So, then why do I see umbrics every day? If they bring chaos, why do the Kars invite it to Caer Aeternum?” He straightened up as though he was not expecting this type of question. 

“Well… in the history of the ascendancy..” He began to stammer through “the other species have needed… guidance after their… chaos caused the sundering… the Kars are– well– the Kars can provide that guidance.” He looked confidently at me as though that would answer all of my questions. 

I just tilted my head and scrunched my nose looking at him. Then I saw the confused faces of my fellow students out of the corner of my eye. This forced me to retreat, I looked down and class proceeded as normal, feeling for that thread which has begun fraying on my tunic

Biology was another issue as I asked what the true difference between Colonials and Hybrids actually is. The teacher just began explaining how each version was a deviation from perfection. “But how are we actually perfect compared to others?” This just drew a look of anger as the teacher silently called down to the counselors, her lack of answer just caused me to get completely quiet. The rest of the class passed by without issue.

Eventually we reached the end of the day and as I was grabbing my bag to take home, a counselor stopped me. “Lyra, follow me to my office please.” The counselor, a man whose broad shoulders strained the fabric of his severe, creased tunic, sat with a ramrod straight posture that spoke of years in the military. We sat at his perfectly managed desk when he asked me pointedly. “I hear you’ve been difficult with some of your teachers, and your fellow students are concerned about your behavior.”

“...” I just looked at him confused as to what he could be talking about, my mind racing. “Is this about me putting a note in Zith’s bag? I didn't mean anything by it, I just know-” he raised his enormous hand to cut me off.

“Thats not what I’m talking about, Lyra, your teacher informed me that you have been expressing sympathetic views towards lower castes… What brought this on?” He asks with a growing sound of strained congeniality in his voice as he raises his voice. 

“Nothing, brought it on, I just noticed there are umbrics walking around Caer Aeternum. No one has given me an answer. If all umbrics are evil. Why are some not?” I look at him expecting an answer. When he chimes in.

“Umbrics are not deserving of your attention or your thoughts. So just ignore them and you'll be okay.” He stood up from behind his desk and shuffled me out of the door.

Durna is standing outside the office when I exit with a look of concern “Lyra, you can’t get in trouble like that, it’ll affect your family soon. Why are you so interested in the Umbrics lately anyway?” She asks, with a growing sound of disgust in her voice. 

“Lets just drop it Durna” I say as I start walking past her quickly, and she speeds up to catch up with me. I just walked silently, but while I did I stared across the horizon, truly seeing the full scope of what I was being told to ignore. Hybrids all in various states of destitution, most just begging for a few Karn Marks, while Colonials walked past them and a few even spit on them. I grabbed the thread and just pulled, until it resisted, rolling it up in my fingers.

I eventually made it home, saying goodbye to Durna, I opened the door and my Father was standing there, a mix of disappointment and anger on his face. The counselor had called him, “Lyra Seraphina! What is this I hear about you befriending hybrids at school?!” He shouted at me, aggressively wagging his bony finger in my face.

“I did not! I just asked a simple question, no one can answer it! You raised me to question things! So I’m questioning! If all the umbric hybrids are evil, why are some not?” I look back at him defiantly expecting an answer. 

I see his face attempt to comprehend the question, “What do you mean? Where have you been hanging out with Umbrics?” Exasperated, I sigh and he raises his arm to strike me, I cower in response.

“I haven't been hanging out with Umbrics!” I say hiding behind my arm. “I just wanted to know why the Kars own Umbrics. The teacher said that they ‘invite chaos’, but he couldn't tell me.” He doesn't lower his arm, instead he grabs his head.

“Lyra..you do not question the noble houses! Go to your room!” He said as if trying to overcome some ingrained response. 

I do as he says and lower my head in response, comprehending the reality. No one will give me an answer. “I’m sorry dad. I won’t do it again, I promise.” I shut the door to my room and sit at my desk in silence letting everything sink in. Am I truly alone? 

My mother eventually comes in, holding a bowl of nutrient paste. “Sweetie, are you alright?” She comes over, placing a hand on my shoulder and setting the bowl on my desk. 

“...yeah mom, i’m fine…” I sullenly say in response, expecting her to hear the sadness in my voice. 

“Okay dear, well your father wants you to stay in here and think about what you’ve done.”  she says softly, but I hear a tightness in her voice from her jaw has locked up as if she's fighting some buried urge. 

“Mom, I really am sorry, I didn’t think everyone would get so angry over a question. It really won't happen again, I promise.”  I say, attempting to convey the honesty behind the words. 

“I know sweetie. Sometimes it's just best to keep your thoughts inside.” She says standing in the doorway. “I’ll pick up your dishes after you finish. I’ll try to calm your father down.”

As she closes the door, I pull up the vox caster and flip through the channels until I hear something that cuts through. “-ith the Palmander Society. Our message is simple: The Varkh is lying to you. Empathy isn't a disease! We don't have to choose between kindness and advancement!” I turn the volume down low, making sure that no one outside my room can hear, and I listen closer as the person speaks about everything I’ve been questioning. 

I pull out my journal and begin writing my thoughts down. If I didn't have anyone to talk to, I would need somewhere to put my thoughts down. That way I can at least get them out of my head, and I don't have to worry about affecting my family. I spent the rest of the night listening to the words of the Ritha, Harz, and the Palmander Society. 

I wake the next day to find my mother and father are waiting for me at the dining table. “Lyra, I spoke with your father. He understands that it was the last time. We just wanted to say that we both love you very much.” My mother attempts to convey the meaning for both of them, while my father stares begrudgingly forward, avoiding looking at me directly. 

She nudges him and he snaps out of it, before saying “That's right. Just make sure it was the last time.” he adds on to the end before my mother nudges him again. “...and I-uh love you…” he grumbles out at the end. 

I know they mean it, but there's something in them that created a blind spot. I grab the thread and finally yank it loose, looking down at the frayed vertical threads that hold it all together. I would need to keep my thoughts to myself until I can be old enough to pull this thread all the way and see what unravels.