The diamond walls spun in close, forming a tiny sphere around Felitïa. This close in, they cut off almost all sensations, both mental and physical: touch, hearing, smell. If she were to open her eyes right now, she doubted she would be able to see more than a blur, if that much. This technically left her physical body vulnerable, but unless Hedromornasta suddenly decided to turn murderous, or Lon or Nesh turned carnivorous, she doubted she was in much danger. Besides, she wasn’t intending to do this for long.

There was a quietness that came with having the walls this close, beyond even the quietness her mind had experienced the last few weeks of having the shield around her. Without the shield, this level of quietness would probably be comforting or relaxing. The mental world could be a noisy place. But at the moment, with things being so quiet anyway, it felt like more of the same, only more intense.

But she needed to know she could do this. If she was going to learn the secrets of her mind, she needed to be able to block out any distractions. And if she wanted to walk out in the world without the shield around her, she needed to learn the secrets of her mind. She had to control them.

Mikranasta had been right. She wasn’t ready to go without the shield. She’d barely managed to maintain herself with just Meleng and Sinitïa nearby. With more people around, the results could be disastrous.

But she needed to be rid of the shield. After nearly a month of it, she was sick of it. Everywhere she went, there was Hedromornasta or maybe Mikranasta. Sure, she’d gained a bit of privacy by learning to keep them out of her head—though in Mikranasta’s case, she suspected it was more the Isyar willingly not breaking through Felitïa’s defences—but it didn’t change the fact they were still nearby. They could still see and hear. In some cases, she could put a door between her and them, but it still meant being reserved in conversations if she didn’t want to be overheard.

Annoyingly, most of the things she wanted to say to people weren’t particularly private, but when there was a possibility of someone literally hearing everything she said every day, the desire for privacy increased and increased. Gods, it was frustrating at times.

So, she needed to learn to control her abilities fast, and to do that, she needed to improve her ability to concentrate without distraction.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a lot of time for that now. This was just a proof-of-concept exercise. She wasn’t sure how successful it had been, as she was just frustrating herself with her own faults.

With a sigh, she relaxed the diamond walls, letting them spin away from her, and opened her eyes.

Hedromornasta stood unmoving in his usual corner of the library and a palace servant stood by the doors farthest from Hedromornasta. It seemed even other people in the palace were learning to stay away from Hedromornasta. She understood why they did it, but she was beginning to feel a bit sorry for him. At least some of his grumpiness had to be from having to watch her for sixteen or more hours a day.

Alas, he was not going to like what was about to happen.

Even Jorvan didn’t like it much. She had spoken to him about it earlier today, and he had made that clear.

“I understand your frustration,” he had said, “but I cannot support your actions. If Mikranasta says it is too dangerous, then it is too dangerous. I trust her in this.”

“You and I might,” Felitïa said, “but Zandrue doesn’t. She’s suffering, Jorvan. You’ve seen it yourself. I can’t let her continue to go through this.”

“Mikranasta could help her. Remember, she helped Meleng. She is powerful and wise. She could help Zandrue as well.”

“Zandrue won’t allow that. You want to convince her?”

He shook his head. “I would not be able, but perhaps you could.”

Felitïa smiled sadly. “I’ve tried. Look, Jorvan, I understand that Mikranasta is family, and you don’t want to disagree with her, but Zandrue is my family. Wouldn’t you do the same for yours?”

He nodded, but added, “But if Mikranasta told me it was dangerous, I would seriously consider that I might make things worse for my family.”

It had been a fair comment, and Felitïa had been thinking on it for the past couple hours. Would she make things worse for Zandrue? Possibly. However, she had to take the risk. If she didn’t, the consequences could be worse.

The doors nearest Hedromornasta opened and Nin-Akna entered, followed by Meleng, Corvinian, and Agernon.

“Thank you for coming,” Felitïa said.

With a groan, Agernon lowered himself slowly into a chair at the table across from Felitïa. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

Corvinian plunked down beside him. “I don’t know why. It sounds like it’s just going to be a bunch of arguing.”

“Ah, but the right type of arguing, boy,” Agernon said with a laugh.

“How come your neck’s glowing?” Corvinian said.

Felitïa chuckled and put a hand to the necklace of prayer beads around her neck. “It’s not me. It’s the prayer beads. I’ve been charging them. I may need them later.”

“They look pretty on you when they do that.”

“Thank you.” Felitïa looked to Nin-Akna. “Zandrue?”

“Anita’s with her,” Nin-Akna said. “They should be here soon.”

“Good. You told her what’s going to happen?”

Nin-Akna nodded. “Don’t worry. She’s eager to come.”

Meleng sat beside Felitïa on her left. “Sinitïa wanted to come, but I told her she has to stay in bed a little longer, so she said to tell you she’s sorry.”

“That’s all right,” Felitïa said. “I understand.”

“Feviona’s arguing with Jorvan about coming,” Meleng said.

“I hope it’s not too big an argument. I didn’t mean to cause something like that.”

Meleng shrugged. “Jorvan was talking in Isyarian and I couldn’t see Feviona’s signs well enough, but it didn’t look or sound that bad.”

The other doors opened at that moment and a servant entered and bowed. Behind him stood Etiënne and Miana. “Your Highness. Two people—”

“Yes, I see them. Show them in.”

The servant bowed again and stepped aside for Etiënne and Miana to enter. Etiënne’s dog—Jeanne?—bounded in after them and leapt into one of the plush chairs along the wall, curling up into a ball there.

Felitïa smiled at Miana, who gave just the tiniest hint of a smile back, in that stoic way of theirs.

“I think our friend in the corner’s getting suspicious,” Agernon said and laughed.

Agernon wasn’t wrong. Hedromornasta was looking about the room, a definite hint of concern on his face.

“It’s understandable,” Felitïa said. “Mikranasta is due soon for today’s lesson and there usually aren’t very many other people present for them.”

Agernon nodded. “Nice to see him squirm, though.”

Felitïa shrugged. “Not really. I’m not his greatest fan, but…”

Agernon harrumphed. “Always the soft one, Felitïa. At any rate, how are you doing? After everything that happened yesterday, that is.”

“As well as can be expected, I suppose,” Felitïa said. “Though what happened yesterday is a large part of why we’re doing this today.”

The doors near Hedromornasta opened again and Feviona walked into the room. After a quick scan, she spotted Meleng and came over towards him, signing something.

Felitïa really needed to learn her sign language. There was always so much more going on though.

“She says Jorvan won’t come,” Meleng said.

“He told me earlier, so I’m not surprised. Give her my thanks for coming.”

Meleng nodded and signed back to Feviona.

Time ticked slowly by. There was still no Mikranasta and no Zandrue, and it was kind of critical that they both be there.

After a little while, a servant arrived with a message that he handed to Nin-Akna, who read it. “Anita’s having a little difficulty with Zandrue. I’ll go help.” Nin-Akna then followed the servant out of the library.

They continued to wait.

Agernon jabbed his cane in Hedromornasta’s direction. “He might have warned his mother, you know.”

Felitïa looked over at Hedromornasta, who had regained his composure. “The thought had occurred to me.” She lowered her block on him. Hedromornasta, do you know where your diare is?

No, he said with surprisingly little hesitation.

Did you warn her I have all these extra people here?

This time, he took a moment before answering. I tried. I don’t know if she received it as she hasn’t responded.

Thank you for responding. I appreciate it. She looked back to Agernon. “He tried to warn Mikranasta, but he doesn’t actually know if she received it.”

“Pheh. She got it. That’s why she’s not here. Too afraid to show her face.” He jumped a little and looked behind him and then all around.

“You all right?”

He settled back down again. “Just remembering the last time I said something like that in this room and she snuck up on me. I’m not getting caught unaware again.”

With a chuckle, Felitïa went back to waiting.

A few minutes later, Nin-Akna returned with Zandrue and Anita. Zandrue circled around the table and sat on Felitïa’s right side.

Felitïa smiled at her. “Glad you could make it.”

Zandrue bent over the table, head in her hands. “Yeah, whatever.”

Felitïa leaned over her, placing a hand on her back. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to fix this.”

“Are we? I nearly ran, Felitïa. This is exactly what I want, what I’ve begged you to do, and yet my first instinct when Anita told me it was happening was to run the fuck away. I still feel that instinct right now. Do we really need such a big audience?”

“Yes. They’re our moral support. They’ll let her—and you—know just how much support you have.”

“We’re really doing this? You better make her listen.”

“I will. Or I’ll dismiss her. Her choice.”

“Thank you.”

Felitïa put her arm around her, leaned her head on Zandrue’s shoulder, and hugged her tight. “That’s what I’m here for.”

After what seemed an eternity, the far doors finally opened, and Mikranasta walked slowly into the room, well over an hour past her scheduled arrival time. Hedromornasta started over to her, but she held up a hand to keep him back and turned her head slowly to look around the room. “A large number of people with you today, Will-Breaker.”

Felitïa stood up. “Yes, I—”

“I can guess what it’s for.” Mikranasta walked slowly towards Felitïa. “You think this will change my mind?”

“You’re going to listen to us for a change!” Agernon said.

Felitïa held up her hand. “Agernon, please. Let me speak.” She then held out her hand to Zandrue. “Mikranasta, I need you to look at her.”

“I have already said I am willing to assist her if she will let me.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, look at her, not examine her.” Felitïa nudged Zandrue, but Zandrue refused to stand up.

Mikranasta came forward. “I can see she is in distress. I have never denied this. I am not heartless, Will-Breaker. My decision is for her benefit as much as it is for yours. You are not qualified to help her. You will likely make matters worse. The best thing you can do is convince her of that, and let me look at her. If not that, then convince her to wait until you are ready. But you cannot do this now.”

Someone banged on the table, and both Felitïa and Mikranasta turned to see that it had been Feviona, who began signing frantically. She walked right up to Mikranasta, her motions angry and threatening. Mikranasta watched stoically.

Felitïa glanced down at Meleng, who gulped and stood up. He leaned in close to her and said quietly, “She’s telling Mikranasta that...um...if she wants Zandrue and others to trust her, then she could start acting with more...uh...friendliness and earn that trust. One way she could earn the trust is to let you help Zandrue now. She’s saying it with...um...much more colourful language, though.”

Felitïa smirked. She really needed to learn that sign language.

When Feviona finished, she continued to stare up at Mikranasta, who simple stared back. This went on for a while. Was Mikranasta communicating mentally with Feviona? It was possible.

Eventually, Mikranasta turned away from Feviona and scanned the room again. “I understand you are all here because you are friends of Felitïa Asa Folith, and you wish to support her, but you do not understand the full gravity of the situation. If you truly care for her and for Zandromeda Armida, please listen to what I have to say. I—”

“If I might interject for a moment.” Etiënne strode forward and up to Mikranasta.

Mikranasta looked up at him, a bemused look on her face. “Go on then.”

Etiënne began moving about the room as he talked. “The truth of the matter is, I don’t actually know her Highness or Lady Armida all that well. I hope we can be considered friends in time, but I suppose we are really more acquaintances. However, I am very close to her Highness’s sister, and young Meleng here.” He patted Meleng on the shoulder as he passed. “Both Miana and I care for them a great deal. And while young Meleng here can sometimes be a bit naïve, I trust his judgement in people, and he believes strongly in her Highness, so I’m inclined to side with her as well.”

“In that case, let me—” Mikranasta started.

“Uh uh uh.” Etiënne waved an admonishing finger. “Let me finish. When you were aboard my ship, you were essentially a model passenger in the sense that you caused no trouble. You kept to yourself, followed the rules, and never made a fuss. You were not particularly sociable and were never interested in friendly talk, but none of that is strictly necessary. However, Miana can attest here, that my crew found you and your siare...intimidating at best, downright frightening at worst.”

“Cultural differences,” Mikranasta said.

“Perhaps,” Etiënne said, pausing momentarily in his movement about the room. “But they had no problem with Jorvanultumn and Fevionawishtensen.”

“I’m still not sure I see your point.”

“My point is, the issue here seems to be a lack of trust in you. Now, I know what you are capable of, and I know what you did for young Meleng here. I know what you could do for Lady Armida. But you need to understand, most of the people here were not there in Isyaria. They don’t know you. They see someone who has strode in and tried to take control of the situation here. I’ve talked to several of them, and they say you act as though you are some sort of authority, despite the fact that you are a guest of the local authority, something that her Highness is a part of.” He stopped by Meleng again, and patted him on the back once more. Then he bowed his head slightly to Felitïa.

Mikranasta bowed her head as well. “I accept that I have been...intimidating as you put it, and I apologise. But you must all understand that my siare and I must spend all our time maintaining the shield around Felitïa Asa Folith. This takes effort, and I suppose the social niceties have suffered as a result.”

“That could explain here,” Miana said, “but your behaviour was the same onboard ship, and you had no shield to maintain there.”

Mikranasta lowered her head. “May I explain my position regarding Zandromeda Armida?”

“I think we’ve heard enough from you,” Agernon said.

Felitïa held up her hand again. “Agernon, please.”

Agernon grunted, but said nothing more.

“Mikranasta, I know your explanation, but most people here have not heard it directly from you, so please, explain.”

Mikranasta bowed her head. “Thank you.” She walked over to Felitïa and Zandrue.

Zandrue looked up and recoiled with a snarl.

Mikranasta smiled sadly, and looked around the room at everyone else. “I know Felitïa Asa Folith cares deeply for her friend, Zandromeda Armida. I don’t deny this in any way. And I know she wishes to help her friend in any way she can. And there will come a day when she will have that ability. But the truth is, Felitïa Asa Folith cannot yet control the powers she possesses. She discovered yesterday when circumstances forced a situation where I could not provide the shield, that she was not ready. She has admitted it herself.”

Zandrue leapt to her feet and shoved Mikranasta. “But you don’t have to lower the whole fucking shield, you bitch. Just let me inside it. Then I’m the only one at risk.”

Hedromornasta started towards them, but Mikranasta held up her hand again as she straightened herself up. “You are right that I could adjust the shield so that you were within it and you would be the only one at risk. However, that is the operative word: risk. Felitïa Asa Folith believes the risk is that she might see something in your head, something private or embarrassing. Something you do not want her to see.”

“I’ve already told her that it’s all right. I’ve given my consent. I don’t care what she sees.”

“But that is not the risk,” Mikranasta said. “Not the one that concerns me, at any rate. If that were the only risk, I would accept the consent and have no problem with your proposed course of action. However, she could do far worse. She could damage your mind. At worst, she could burn it out entirely, leaving you a husk incapable of even keeping your heart beating. You would die.”

Zandrue looked to Felitïa. “Is this true?”

Felitïa tried her best to look confident despite saying, “Maybe. I don’t actually know.” While she had considered the possibility that she might somehow harm Zandrue, she hadn’t really thought about the possibility she could completely destroy Zandrue’s mind. Could she do that?

“She did it to Plavistalorik’s mind,” Mikranasta said.

“Yeah, but that was different,” Zandrue said.

Mikranasta tilted her head slightly. “Was it?”

Zandrue stood there a moment, closing her eyes. “How likely is it?”

“Hard to say,” Mikranasta responded, “but more likely than I am comfortable with. Are you?”

Zandrue stared at her for a moment, then looked to Felitïa.

“You don’t have to do it if you don’t want,” Felitïa said.

Zandrue broke into a smile. “Fuck it. I’m in.” She put an arm around Felitïa. “I’m willing to take the risk.”

“And you will not let me help you?” Mikranasta said.

Zandrue shuddered. “No. I’m sorry. Maybe if I was in better shape, I’d be willing, but I think whatever’s wrong with me is making me refuse any help. It’s even trying to make me refuse help from Felitïa. I’m resisting that for now, but I don’t think I can resist much longer, which is why I can’t wait until you think she’s ready. It’ll be too late for me by then.”

“So be it.”

“You’ll...you’ll let her?” Zandrue was shaking now, and Felitïa did her best to hold onto her and hold her still.

“What is the alternative, Will-Breaker?”

“I call your bluff,” Felitïa said, “and let you go. If you leave, it won’t be ideal, but I’ve been through a hell of a lot the last year or so. I’ll get through this too. I’d love to have your help to make it easier, but if you don’t want to give that help, fine. Fuck off back to Isyaria and leave us be.”

Mikranasta straightened her back and took a deep breath. She looked at Felitïa through narrowed eyes. “It seems I have no choice. If you are going to do something exceedingly stupid, then the least I can do is watch over you. I will extend the shield as you request. However, I have one condition.”

“Which is?” Felitïa asked.

“Do not block me, Will-Breaker. I could break through if I wanted to, but I would prefer your consent to help you if something goes wrong. I give you my word I will not enter Zandromeda Armida’s mind, but you must agree to let me enter yours if necessary. There is probably not much I could do for Zandromeda Armida in such a situation, but I could save you. If you do not agree, then I will...fuck off back to Isyaria and leave you be.”

Felitïa looked to Zandrue, who got her shaking under control enough to nod.

“All right,” Felitïa said. “I agree.”

“Then the sooner we start, the better.” Mikranasta motioned to the doors. “I need everyone except the Will-Breaker and Zandromeda Armida to leave the room. I will not take the risk of any of you accidentally being caught up in this.”

Agernon harrumphed, but stood up. “I hate to say it, but she’s probably right. Cry out if you need me, Felitïa. I’ll be right outside the door.”

Meleng and Feviona came up to her. “Good luck,” Meleng said. Feviona signed something and Meleng translated, “She says she admires how you stand up for your friend.”

“She could understand everything, I take it?” Felitïa said.

Meleng nodded. “I translated everything for her.”

Zandrue spun round suddenly and hugged Meleng, who gaped. “Thanks for the support,” she said. “I mean it. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Meleng said, looking flustered.

With a smile, Feviona took Meleng’s hand and led him from the room.

Etiënne and Miana came over next. “Well done, your Highness,” Etiënne said. “I would love to have the opportunity to sit down and talk one day.”

“So would I,” Felitïa said.

Miana nodded slightly to her. “My offer remains open.”

Felitïa’s cheeks warmed and she looked away, hoping no one noticed.

“Offer?” Etiënne said. “Offer for what? Oh! Oh, I see. None of my business. Never mind. Let’s go, Number One.”

“All the best, your Highness,” Anita said, as she and Nin-Akna headed for the door.

“Come on, squirt,” Nin-Akna said to Corvinian

Corvinian hopped to his feet. “That wasn’t even an angry argument. There was no yelling or anything.”

“Actually,” Felitïa said, “I’d like Corvinian to stay.”

Corvinian stopped and looked back. “Me? Why?”

Before Felitïa could answer, Mikranasta said, “You are the only one immune to the Will-Breaker’s powers. It’s a sensible precaution. I will allow it.”

Felitïa thought about admonishing Mikranasta for that statement—that she wasn’t in a position to allow anything—but she held her tongue when it occurred to her how similar the complaint was to complaints Nin-Akna had made about her.

Nin-Akna ruffled Corvinian’s hair as he skipped past her. Then she followed Anita out the door.

Apart from the four who were supposed to be there, Hedromornasta was the only other person remaining in the room. Even the servants had left now. Hedromornasta and Mikranasta touched foreheads and wing tips together for a few moments, and then he, too, left.

Zandrue leaned on Felitïa. “Can we get this started? You have no idea how much I want to run out the door right now.” There was strain on her face, and tears dripped from the corners of her eyes.

Felitïa nodded and led her over to one of the plush chairs along the walls. It probably didn’t make any real difference where they did this, but she might as well try to make Zandrue as comfortable as possible.

Zandrue sat in the chair, but bent over forwards, almost far enough for her legs to be hugging against her chest.

“I’ll hold your hand if you want,” Corvinian said.

Zandrue turned her head to look at him. She was shaking visibly, but she held out her hand. “Thanks, kid.”

Corvinian took her hand. “I bet you’re gonna feel better really soon. Felitïa’s the best.”

“I know, kid. There’s literally no one in the world I trust more.”

Felitïa wished she had as much confidence in herself as they did, but she was definitely grateful for their trust. Taking a deep breath, she looked to Mikranasta and nodded.

There was no sensation of the shield shifting, but Zandrue’s presence was now in the Room in her head. Nothing else. No voices. No line-up. But Zandrue was there. So was Zandrue’s fear. Such intense fear. She’d sensed this kind of fear from Zandrue before, though she couldn’t quite remember when she’d last sensed it so intense. The very first time they’d encountered a Volg in Mesone? It had to be at least that long. Zandrue had been frozen with fear then.

Felitïa was more prepared for it this time though. And more prepared for her own mind being freed. She had learned something from her experience with Meleng and Sinitïa yesterday. Her mind didn’t immediately dive into Zandrue’s. It was taking some effort though.

In the library, Felitïa knelt beside Zandrue. “I’m not entirely sure how this will feel to you. I have no idea how much you’ll even notice. Ready?”

“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Zandrue screamed.

Felitïa’s ears hurt and she almost fell over from the unbelievable volume Zandrue had used.

No. Something odd had happened. Neither Corvinian nor Mikranasta had reacted to Zandrue’s scream.

Of course. Zandrue had spoken at a normal volume. The scream had been mental.

Felitïa nodded, and took Zandrue’s free hand. With her other hand, she touched the prayer beads around her neck. The glow remained, but they were fading slightly. Hopefully, they were powered up enough for what she needed.

In the Room, she brought Zandrue’s presence closer to her. She had to stay focused; she couldn’t let her mind go out of control.

She focused on the tiny thread that led from Zandrue’s presence out of the Room and to Zandrue herself. In her final struggle against Plavistalorik, she’d used this method to communicate with Zandrue and to enter Plavistalorik’s mind. If she could do the same here, maybe she could—

In a blur, the Room sped away as her mind was swept along the tiny tube leading to Zandrue’s mind.

So much for focus.

Did she say that? Maybe. Though it sounded a bit more like a snarky comment from Zandrue.

Zandrue, can you hear me?

It was dark here. Totally dark. There was nothing to be seen.

But there was fear. So much fear. It threatened to be overwhelming.

But something was pushing back on the fear. It had to be Zandrue.

No, it was her. She was pushing back against the fear. But she was Felitïa, not Zandrue. Wasn’t she?

Oh gods, she needed to stay focused. Maintain her own identity. Not blend with Zandrue’s. Or was it Felitïa’s?

Shit.

She took several moments to focus, going through concentration exercises. But the fear was so distracting. So nearly overwhelming.

She had to step back a bit.

Now she stood under a starlit sky. There was a tree beside her and shapes occasionally flew overhead, but much of the scene around her was indistinct. She couldn’t make out much detail of what surrounded her other than the tree. Even the tree was only distinct for a short distance up the length of its trunk. Its branches and leaves were hazy. It was all a little like a dream. Or a memory where you could only recall certain bits.

“Do I have to go?” she asked.

There was a woman beside her now. They were both sitting against the tree looking at the stars.

The woman—her mother—barely looked at her. “Yes. Make us proud.”

The fear was emanating from both herself and her mother.

“I’m scared.”

“Don’t let your father hear you say that.”

“Maybe I’ll tell him,” her sister said.

Where had she come from? Her mother was gone and Morstraime was there in her place. She was indistinct like so much else here though. It had been so long since she had seen her sister, she could barely remember anything of what she looked like beyond the bright red hair. Morstraime would be a grown woman by now. Unrecognisable.

No, this was not the right place to be. These weren’t her memories. This was not what she was here for.

She pushed the memory aside and there was Rudiger, standing proudly and smiling at her.

Thank the gods! He was all right!

She ran up to him and threw her arms around him as he lifted her up and spun her around. Then she pushed Rudiger onto the bed and leapt on top of him. They were both completely naked.

Oh gods, how embarrassing.

This was not the first time she’d intruded on Rudiger’s sex life, although at least last time, she hadn’t been one of the participants.

It was so wrong. So unnatural. But gods, she loved it. And she loved him.

“Disgusting,” her mother said.

“Fuck off, mom. He’s mine.”

“You disgust me.”

This wasn’t a memory, was it?

It couldn’t be. Her mother had never been there while she was fucking Rudiger.

No, she had never fucked Rudiger, Zandrue had, and she wasn’t Zandrue! Right? Except she sure as hell was thinking like Zandrue.

Whatever the case, this wasn’t a memory. This was just worry, anxiety, and fear.

A Volg sleeping with a human. Tadstaime had said there was no shame in enjoying it, that it was an archaic belief to say otherwise.

She rolled back over onto Rudiger, biting gently at his ear.

“Not tired yet?” he said with a laugh.

“Oh, I can go a long time yet.”

Right, enough of that!

Again, this was not what she was here for. She pushed the pseudo-memory/fantasy aside.

She was back in the darkness. In the seemingly endless fight against the fear.

Felitïa?

Zandrue?

I’m not sure. I think so. Though maybe I’m Felitïa.

No, I’m pretty sure I’m Felitïa. Though I also just had sex with Rudiger, so I might not be.

The other one laughed. You’ve always had a thing for him. Remember what happened when you first met him?

Oh gods, don’t remind me.

The other laughed again. So, how was it?

How was what?

The sex.

Fuck off.

You sure you aren’t me? You sound like me.

My language has gotten a lot rougher lately. Stress can fuck you up a lot.

No shit. What’s wrong with me, Felitïa?

You mean, beyond the usual?

Ha ha.

Bad joke, sorry. To be honest, I don’t know yet. I’ve just been lost in your head. I haven’t got a clue what to do anymore. I somehow thought…

I really need you to do something fast. I’m about to kick Corvinian in the face to get away, and I suspect that will go badly for me. I can’t hold out much longer.

I know. What could she do? How was she supposed to find anything if the only choices were pure darkness or memories where she could barely separate herself from Zandrue?

Please, Felitïa.

Where are you?

What do you mean, where am I? I’m right here. Right in front of you. Open your fucking eyes and look at me!

She opened her eyes. Felitïa, eyes still closed, was kneeling beside her, squeezing her hand almost painfully tightly. Corvinian still held her other hand, while Mikranasta stood back a few paces, watching intently.

No. This was what Zandrue was seeing. Gods, this was confusing.

Look at me, for fuck’s sake!

Could she open her real eyes? When she had been in Plavistalorik’s mind, she had had no control over her own body. But the grey walls had been still intact then. Could she do it now?

Only one way to find out.

Concentrating, she opened her real eyes. Dizziness threatened to overtake her as she was now seeing through both her and Zandrue’s eyes.

But that was all right. She could handle it. It was just like being in the Room and operating in the real world at the same time. She just had to treat it the same way.

Smiling, she relaxed her grip on Zandrue’s hand. “Sorry about that. When I concentrate, I have a tendency to clutch my hands too tightly.”

“Something you really need to get over,” Mikranasta said.

“Yes, you’re right. Now, shut up while I deal with this. This isn’t easy.”

“Apologies, Will-Breaker.”

Felitïa stood up, straddled Zandrue’s legs, and placed her hands on each side of Zandrue’s face. She had intended to do this from the start, but had gotten swept up by...well, not having control of her abilities. There was so much still to learn, but that was irrelevant right now.

She cast the spell she’d tried to use on Zandrue before, the power flowing first through the prayer beads, allowing her to augment its strength. It still wasn’t likely powerful enough to find anything she couldn’t find before, but maybe now she had her telepathy to further augment it, she could find something.

Trust me, Zandrue?

Always.

I need you to relax. Stop fighting the fear.

But…

Trust me. It’s the only way I can see where it’s coming from.

Zandrue stopped fighting, and the fear rushed forward, threatening to cover everything in darkness again, but Felitïa threw the diamond walls against it. It was a strain, but they held it back. At least for now.

She allowed herself a little smile. That had been pure instinct, but it was nice to know she could use the walls outside of her own head.

Zandrue’s body tensed momentarily, but then went limp as Felitïa assumed control. Gods, she’d vowed to never, ever do something like this again after Plavistalorik, but there was no choice. No other way to save Zandrue.

Then, bending Zandrue’s body round to be able to look past her own body blocking the view, she looked around the library through Zandrue’s eyes.

Sort of. Though not exactly.

She was looking at the library, but she was also looking at Zandrue’s interpretation of it. When it came down to it, sight was a personal thing. Real information met someone’s eyes, but at that point, the mind took over, interpreting that information. In a sense, everything anyone saw was a construct.

Looking at the library now, there were differences between what she saw with Zandrue’s eyes and what she saw with her own. They were slight. The blue aura forming around Corvinian was slightly paler from Zandrue’s perspective. In fact, everything was just slightly paler from Zandrue’s eyes.

Other things stood out more. Mikranasta was...not exactly bigger from Zandrue’s eyes, but somehow more prominent. Even Felitïa’s own body seemed… It was hard to compare how she looked through Zandrue’s eyes with how she looked through her own, since she couldn’t look at herself in the same way, but there was a precision to her appearance that she had never noticed when looking at herself in a mirror. No, precision was the wrong word. She couldn’t quite describe…

It was the smell. Her scent. Gods, she had forgotten Volgs had a heightened sense of smell compared to humans. She wasn’t even sure how to interpret what Zandrue was smelling from her.

It didn’t matter right now. She had to find where the fear was coming from before she lost control of the diamond walls.

Where would it be?

There, at the farthest corner of Zandrue’s peripheral vision. It moved as she turned Zandrue’s head. Always as far back as possible.

She spun the diamond walls over to it. It was the tiniest, tiniest seed.

No. It was multiple tiny seeds. One augmenting Zandrue’s general fears brought on by a childhood full of hardship and trauma. Another augmenting her fears and worries about Rudiger. Yet another augmenting her desire to run away and hide from the world. Still another augmenting her paranoia and distrust. And another…

What was that one doing?

Felitïa brought it closer. It wasn’t doing anything to Zandrue’s feelings or temperament. It was something different.

Oh gods. It was blocking memories.

Of course, she should have realised. Whoever had done this would have to block the memory of it from Zandrue.

Right. Time to get rid of them. She squeezed the diamond walls around the seeds to crush them, but stopped.

There were seeds on the seeds. Traps.

Just like Plavistalorik had done.

In fact, there was a familiarity to the magic here. It was very like Plavistalorik’s. But she was dead. Did she have a hidden siare like Felitïa had postulated? It could explain a lot.

She flattened out a piece of diamond wall until it was razor-thin, and then, to be on the safe side, she flattened it even more. Then she sliced the traps off each seed and crushed the non-trap seeds. Finally, she bundled up the traps in a bit of diamond wall. She had no idea how to remove them without setting them off, but as long as they remained untriggered, they would do no harm. The bit of diamond wall would keep them for now, and she could figure out a way to completely remove them at a later time.

With a sigh of relief from both bodies, Felitïa prepared to return to just her own.

But how could she do that?

It was just a matter of sliding back the same way she’d come in, surely.

Except that wasn’t working.

Fuck.

Zandrue, are you there?

No response.

Zandrue?

She had destroyed Plavistalorik’s mind doing this. She was not going to do that here.

Zandrue, answer me! Please!

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

You’re really starting to like that word, aren’t you?

Oh thank the gods. Where were you?

Not entirely sure. I can’t move. Felitïa, why can’t I move?

Because I still have control, and I’m not sure how to let go. Oh gods, Zandrue. I’m so sorry.

Okay, okay. Let’s not panic. Maybe you just need to relax like you told me to do.

Right. Zandrue was right. Panic was the worst thing for her to do right now. She had to remain calm.

You are in distress, Will-Breaker, Mikranasta said. I need to pull you out immediately.

No! Do that and you could destroy Zandrue’s mind. Give me another moment.

Very well. Another moment. But I will not wait long.

Felitïa took a deep breath with both bodies. With her own body, she touched the prayer beads, and focused. Calm. She needed calm.

With her own eyes, she looked at Corvinian, whose glow was brightening. “Corvinian.”

“I’m sorry!” he said. “I don’t mean to be doing this. I can’t control it!”

“It’s all right. Your body is just reacting to what’s happening, and honestly, I’m glad it’s doing it. I need you to do something for me.”

He nodded, and wiped tears from his eyes.

“Take my hand, but don’t let go of Zandrue’s.”

His hand burned to the touch, and she almost pulled back in shock. Zandrue was not experiencing the same burning, but Felitïa wasn’t surprised.

Would what she was about to do be any different from Mikranasta yanking her out? She couldn’t be sure, but she couldn’t think of anything else.

She took another deep breath, with just her own body this time, and focused on Corvinian’s mind. Focused on whatever was in there.

It was like a giant, gaping hole.

Then blue energy lashed out and threw her across the room, slamming her into the wall and tearing one of the paintings there as she slid to the ground.

When her vision cleared, she could only see through her own eyes. A quick check, and she determined she was entirely in her own body now. She was out of Zandrue’s body, but how was Zandrue?

Ignoring the pain, she jumped to her feet. “Zandrue!”

Zandrue was lying limp in the chair. Corvinian, his glow fading now, was still holding her hand.

“Are you all right?” he said as Felitïa bent over Zandrue.

Felitïa ignored him and checked Zandrue for vitals. Her pulse was there, and she was breathing.

And her presence was in the Room.

Thank the gods!

Zandrue opened her eyes and smiled up at her. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Felitïa said.

“Those tears have really made a mess of your make-up.”

Felitïa snorted and wiped her eyes. “You really had me scared there.”

“Me? That was all your fault.”

“Yes, I suppose it was.”

Zandrue’s presence faded in the Room as the shield shunted her out.

“We are done,” Mikranasta said. “Well done, Will-Breaker. I am honestly impressed.”

Felitïa ignored her and hugged Zandrue.

“Careful,” Zandrue said. “I’m still a little winded.”

Felitïa relaxed her grip. “Sorry.”

“Felitïa, I remember.”

“Remember what?”

“What happened to me at the cathedral.”